How to Choose a Doula
Kansas City is full of amazing Doulas! How do you choose the right doula for your birth?
When you find out that you are expecting, you suddenly realize there are so many things you need to make decisions on. Many of these things you have put little to no thought into before your pregnancy. How will you make these decisions, especially when you are not even sure what questions you should be asking? Choosing a doula is one of these decisions. You know you would like to have a doula at your birth. All of those lovely stories from friends about how their doula massaged their back and squeezed their hips for hours, screams, “SIGN ME UP!!!” There is a huge variety in both personality and models of care in the doula community, so how will you choose the best doula for your birth? Here are a few questions to ask to be sure your doula feels like a natural fit as a member of your birth team!
What types of birth do they support? Many doulas tend to specialize in either hospital births, birth center births, or home births. Some doulas do all three. Make sure your doula is someone who feels comfortable in the environment that you have decided to welcome your baby in. Your entire birth team should feel comfortable and confident about the location you have chosen for your birth.
Do they support both medicated and un-medicated or “natural” childbirths? I personally support both types of birth. I am just as supportive of natural births as I am of epidural births and even c-section births. But this is not always the case, some doulas have a specific type of birth that they prefer to attend. This does not mean one doula is better than another, but it may mean one is better than another for your birth.
Will they be comfortable if your spiritual or cultural beliefs are vastly different than theirs? I feel like this should be a no-brainer… but it’s not. You deserve non-judgmental support during your birth (and every day!!!) so choose a doula who offers you that. Some doulas serve a very diverse clientele and others tend to cater to a very specific client. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about how they would meet your needs, and if they have served others with similar cultural or spiritual backgrounds in the past.
Is your doula experienced? I often see in blog posts about “how to choose a doula” that you should ask if they are certified. Here is my two cents, I am not certified. Not because I have not attended enough births to certify (I have) but because there is no national certifying body. In fact, it is not regulated at all. If a doula is certified with one company, the criteria will be very, VERY different than it is for another. When they regulate certification, I will absolutely jump on that bandwagon, but until then, I just don’t see the point. That being said, it may be a deciding factor for you, and that is OK! The questions that I find more valuable are “Have you supported a wide variety of births”, “How many clients do you average per month”, and “do you carry insurance for your business”. These questions will tell you if your doula is qualified, has the experience, and takes their business seriously. Some people want a newer doula with fresh ideas, and some prefer a seasoned doula. Both are amazing options! Either way, choose a professional.
How will they support you? There is a wide variety of “doula styles”. There are big bag doulas (who have every conceivable tool in their doula bag), minimalist doulas (who don’t have a doula bag at all), there are massage doulas, Hypno-doulas, evidence-based doulas, crunchy doulas, doula-togs (doulas who are also birth photographers), mind-body meditative doulas, trauma-informed doulas, soft-spoken or assertive doulas, etc….. What type of doula is right for you? There is a wide range of comfort techniques that a doula can use to support your birth, and most doulas use a mixture of all of these techniques. Many doulas do specialize and have either had additional education or special experience with a particular technique. Massage, targeted touch, guided visualizations, affirmations, guided breathing, hypnosis, supportive movement, spinning babies, aromatherapy, talk therapy, emotion coaching, and acupressure are a few of the more common techniques doulas use. What type of support would you like? What things have been comforting to you in the past when you have been confronted with an illness, stress, or fatigue? Choosing someone who provides the type of support that you feel would be most comforting to YOU is important.
How will they support your partner? In most births, there is more than one person “experiencing birth”. Childbirth is an emotional journey for both the birthing person and their partner. Does the doula that you wish to add to your birth team recognize this? Will their comfort and support include you both? A doula should never be at a birth to replace your partner, but rather to offer them support and guidance so that they can be the type of support in your birth that they would like to be. Some partners are more hands-on than others. Whether your partner is more hands-on or more supportive from a couple of steps back, your doula should offer them the tools they need to be at their best, while also being respectful of their comfort level.
Do they have a backup? It is absolutely essential that the doula you choose to add to your birth team has a backup. I personally work with a team of doulas. Once I am hired as your doula, I will present you with a list of doulas that I use as my backup. You can feel confident in knowing that you will never be abandoned at your birth. There will ALWAYS be a professional and caring doula present, even if there is an emergency that prevents me from being there myself. I would never take on a client if I did not have that support network in place. Does your doula have a backup? Is it just one or do they collaborate with several professional doulas? Do you have a say in the backup they assign to your birth? How often do they call in their backup? Can you meet their backup? The bottom line is there should always be a backup, so make sure you choose a doula who has at least one.
When are they on-call for you? Some doulas are on-call with the signing of your contract (like me) and some do not begin to be on-call for your birth until 36 or 38 weeks. I choose to be on-call at all times for my clients because the truth is, if you unexpectedly go into labor early, I feel like you would need support more than ever! Do not assume that your doula is always on-call. Ask her during your initial consultation what her on-call policies are.
How does your doula handle long labors? Every doula is different in how they handle long labors. Some doulas will charge you an additional fee if you go over a certain amount of hours. Some will call in their backup doula after a certain number of hours (generally 12, 18, or 24), and then your original doula may go home. Some doulas will stay with you throughout your birth no matter how long your labor is. My policy is to stay at a birth from the moment my presence is requested until a couple of hours after your baby is born. I do not leave your birth. I do tell my clients that if they have a particularly long labor then I may talk to them about bringing in an additional doula (my backup) so that there is a fresh support person, but I do not leave and I make this decision with them and not for them. Every doula does what feels right for their business and I absolutely support their ability to do so! Find a doula whose policies fit the model of care that you prefer.
Like the people that we support, doulas are all individuals that have unique values and qualities that we bring to our businesses. These questions are not to determine if one doula is better than another. They are meant to help you select the doula you would like to add to your birth team. Obviously, the most important aspect in choosing a doula is whether or not you feel comfortable with them. Your personalities should complement each other. There is a doula for everyone. Hopefully, these questions can help you choose the doula for you.
If you live in Kansas City and would like a free consultation to see if I would be a good fit for your birth team, please head over to my connect page and fill out my form so that we can schedule you today!